|A combo platter for your perusal.
||[Apr. 13th, 2005|10:21 am]
|||||Rich Girl - Gwen Stefani||]|
Nothing could have made my birthday better than finding out that Britney finally decided to admit that the "false tabloids" were right and that she was pregnant. Four months pregnant, in fact.
Way to spread that seed Kevin! Seriously! I'm impressed! Enjoy your first non-bastard child and remember: because he/she's legit, it's going to be that much harder to walk out on your sunny, funny, bunny Britney when the going gets tough. And it will. Because she is just a scared, silly child trying oh so desperately to hold onto her ill-gotten fame booty before the fame pirates come and steal it from her. There's going to be much shrieking, hollering, and throwing of china before this thing is all over. Wait, do you guys have china? Well, she'll throw, like, a stack of dixie plates at you.
Gwen. Gwen-Gwen-Gwen. What the fuck happened? I just saw Hella Good on Much Music and you were so fucking hot! Muscular, bad-ass, rocking that unfortunate long, blond faux-hawk like the true punk rock girl you were. And then, they played Hollaback Girl. And wow. You look like a skinny ho. A skinny, high school-aged ho. Which you are not. Please: Put some clothes on (not so fast! Make sure they match!) and eat something. And for the love of L.A.M.B., no more white tights!
Basically, I think her problem is: too much. Too much of everything. Pare it down, keep it simple. That's when she's at her sexiest. I am really, really, REALLY hoping this is just a phase. Because I like her.